Do you know what it's like when your thoughts are so loud that you can't hear anything else, not even your mother when she's talking to you? I get like that all the time around women, especially my mother. I think that my mother is the only person in the world who truly understands me, and yes.. sometimes I fantasize about her lips wrapped around my cock when she is talking to me, but I swear that any guy would if they were talking to her.
I'm pretty new to sex but I have had sex with three babes since last year, it's cool and everything, but still.. I'm looking for that special girl. I'm not the kind of guy that gets all fucked up at parties and fucks random chicks. I've did it once, it wasn't for me. I need more than just getting my nut off, I need love, I need someone who understands me. I think I need to find a girl to get serious with, to have a real relationship with. I think about all the qualities that she should have: she should be into watching me play hockey in the winter, and baseball in the Summer, she's a good listener, she should wear heels, like all the time, my Mom does that and it is so feminine. Mom even has a pair of heels she calls her "house heels," man, I know they her feet, she is always begging me to massage them, but they make her legs look mile high. She says, "they make me feel good." I can guaran-fuckin-tee that you won't find a chick with those qualities at my age, I'm going to need a sophisticated lady, an older lady. Oh.. and I need a woman that touches me like my mother does, this is very important. I'm talking about the little ways she touches me, as if she wants to remind me that she loves me, several times a day, the way we sit at the table and she runs her index finger up and down my forearm, when I leave the house she hugs me tightly, and wraps her delicate fingers around the back of my neck, and she links her arm around mine like a Victorian lady when we are walking around in public. I always feel like I am the man when I'm with her, even though I'm eighteen, she looks so young that I'd bet people think she's my older girlfriend. I snap out of my day dream, mom is furrowing her brow at me, oh fuck-- I don't want her to think I wasn't listening to her. I nod my head politely, and thankfully she continues on talking.
I dream all the time. It's only recently become a problem. I started acting on my dreams. One time in Homeroom I was staring at Jennifer's tits. Jenny's one of the few black girls in my little town, and I think she's fascinating. She's got a big smile and big tits to match, she wears her hair wrapped up in a high ponytail, and a green clip barrette holds her long bangs up in a perfect swoop on the left side. I notice her eyes, her pretty face, her hair, but I'm in love with her gorgeous breasts. I'm pretty sure she is cool with anyone staring at her tits, that's why she wears that v-neck so low you can see the gore of her pink lace bra. Two delicious mounds, the shade of cocoa, man.. I was just wondering how big her areolae were when I felt the tit land in my hand, the next second she was slapping me across the face. I swear to God I don't remember doing it. I've been on pins and needles since Monday, hoping she didn't rat on me to the principal, if my mom only knew! I want her to think of me as her boy, her good boy, even though I have these terrible thoughts.